Waiting for my piece of cake

Last Saturday I celebrated a milestone in my life. Yes, a milestone! Oftentimes I would just let special occasions pass me by. I would not even partake of all the celebrations surrounding an occasion. I never felt the need to because all my life, I never really celebrated any of the other milestones in my life. Never had a birthday party. Never had a first communion. Never attended a high school dance. I attended my high school graduation, even had a special award, but somehow it felt just like an ordinary day. Uneventful. Same with my first day of work. My very first paycheck...didn't do anything special with it. I even broke up with a girlfriend because I didn't know how to celebrate our first month anniversary. Seems like my life has been devoid of celebrations. I didn't know and wouldn't know how to celebrate an occasion. But all that is going to change. I want to mark every milestones from now on with a celebration. Damn it, it's special, so I'll make it special.

Don't think for a minute though that I had a crappy childhood. I had a great childhood spent when times were much simpler. Yeah, I know, we've all received those forwarded emails reminiscing how simpler life used to be. But that's exactly the childhood I had. It was late 70s, and after school I would play with the neighborhood kids. Tumbang preso, moro-moro (agawan base), hide and seek, and even games as simple as habulan that would start with a silly rhyme such as "monkey, monkey, annabel..." would be enough to fulfill a child's idea of a great day. I had a great time growing up. But yeah, I was the one in the neighborhood or in the school who never had a birthday party.

I remember in grade school a classmate who would always have a celebration for her birthday. From kindergarten to grade six, it never fails that every year on her birthday, her parents would send food for the whole section during recess. There's the cake, and the ice cream, and of course, either pancit or spaghetti. And the whole class will sing to her, while kids from the other sections look on.

It's the same story in my neighborhood. My playmates would have their children's party complete with palaro like pabitin, trip to Jerusalem and stop dance. I would always be a guest. I would just wait for my piece of cake, and be happy to celebrate somebody else's birthday. I didn't have my own cake to share during my birthday with my playmates or schoolmates.

Don't get me wrong, our family is not devoid of celebrations. It's just me. My older brother had his share of throwing birthday parties. My sister, too. We would invite the whole neighborhood for her parties. And the same for my parents wedding anniversaries. Or our house blessing. Or inviting the whole church congregation to celebrate something. It was just me. I never wanted to celebrate my own milestones. My mom would ask me if I wanted a birthday party and I'd just say, "No it's okay, tayo-tayo na lang."

And that's what I want to change.
I don't have kids yet, but I want them to see me celebrating my own milestones so they would know how to celebrate theirs. I want them to anticipate the joy and happiness involved in reaching these milestones. I want to make these occasions special. So last Saturday was a first step. It was just my fiancee and I, but that was enough to start this change. I felt like this accomplishment was special. I wanted to celebrate it and that we did. Now, I'm ready to have my own cake.